This is the first blog post in the series where I am reflecting on my journey through grief, after losing my husband. My experiences have profoundly shaped my perspective and the way I support others facing challenges. I share it with the hope that we will be more equipped to be Christ's hands and feet in a hurting world.
The only two people in the history of mankind who know how life on this earth could be without suffering, are the two people who changed the course of history through their sin- Adam and Eve. I cannot imagine the emotions Eve experienced mourning her murdered son or Adam seeing the decay of a perfect creation in his 930 years on earth. Due to them, suffering is now a given human experience. Additionally, the Lord also declared to his disciples that they will face sorrows and tribulations in this world (John 16:33). This means that we will suffer because of our presence and participation in a post-fall world and due to our allegiance to Christ.
As Christians, we have something to offer in this broken world. Our Messiah, Jesus Christ was a man acquainted with sorrow but because of His suffering, our suffering is not meaningless and can bring hope to others in suffering.
Can I really bring hope when I look down upon someone’s tribulation?
The question arises: what biases do I hold towards those experiencing suffering?
For a moment, be honest with yourself…
What thoughts come to mind when you hear about someone on anti-depressants or in a psychiatric hospital?
What do you think about the person who has committed suicide, a mother experiencing postpartum depression or the couple on IVF treatment?
How do you make sense of the suffering of a friend who has had a mastectomy before turning 30, the unemployed graduate or the AIDS patient?
What do you think about that elderly couple who were murdered on their farm, or the farmer who lost all his cows due to lightning, or the family with an autistic child?
Does your perspective change if I tell you these people love the Lord?
Your thoughts may be, ‘Person X did not have enough faith,’ or ‘There is a generational curse that hasn't been dealt with,’ or ‘It is because of sin!’ Alternatively, you might not spiritualise their suffering at all or accept it fatalistically- “Que sera, sera”. Regardless of your theological perspective or worldview, it will form an unconscious bias and influence the way we show compassion, or fail to do so.
Our theology or absence thereof, profoundly influences how we make sense of suffering.
When we study the suffering of Job, David and Paul we can see how it may help us - not to add more pain to a situation, but to have a Biblical view of suffering that enables us to be supportive in a way that points to our eternal Hope and Christ’s coming glory.
The Suffering of Job
Job suffered immense losses in a very short period of time (Job 1:13-19).
All his children were killed in a natural disaster. His servants were murdered, his oxen, donkeys and camels were raided and lightning struck his sheep.
To be honest, I might have been one of Job's friends who questioned his faithfulness to God or attributed his children’s sudden deaths to their transgressions (Job 8:4). And yet, we know that The Lord said to Satan there is none like his servant Job on the earth. “a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil'” (Job 1:8). Job did not suffer because of any hidden sin in his life, God himself has permitted Satan to afflict him. There is a warning for us when we want to draw one-dimensional conclusions on the causes of suffering. God’s wrath was kindled against Job’s three friends (Job 42:7,8) because they came to that conclusion.
The Suffering of David
The prophet Nathan was commissioned to tell David what sufferings he (and his family) would face as a result of his sins. We would have said this "man after God’s own heart" fell from grace - sleeping with a married woman and killing her husband. When Nathan confronted David, David fasted and repented and the Lord extended His mercy to him - He blotted his sins out (Psalm 51 & 2 Samuel 12:13). Nevertheless, forgiveness does not always reverse the consequences of sin: his baby son with Bathsheba fell ill and died, and the trauma of Tamar and the death of two other sons (Amnon and Absolom) are indirectly attributed to their father’s sin (2 Samuel 12:10-12).
The Suffering of Paul
A demonic influence - a ‘thorn in the flesh’ (2 Corinthians 12:7-9) caused Paul to suffer. He pleaded with God, but instead of healing or deliverance, God offered something else. The Lord promised His Grace would be sufficient for Paul and ‘the power of Christ’ would be manifested in his weakness. Paul’s suffering might be offensive to modern day believers, but in contrast, the church in Galatia did not look at him with mere human eyes, they did not regard his physical ailment with contempt, or scorn and rejection. (Galatians 4:13-14)
Perspective on suffering from the Gospels
Jesus healed a lame man (John 5:13-14) and said, "Stop sinning, or something worse may happen to you.", He also healed a blind man (John 9:1-3) and said, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him."
These Biblical examples illustrate that we cannot come to simple conclusions regarding suffering based on cause and effect!
Jesus further challenges our theological assumptions about causation and our need to know the "WHY?" of suffering, in Luke 13:1-5. He does not provide answers as to what caused the deaths of the Galileans at the hands of Pilate or the eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them. Instead, He calls us to repentance, warning that unless we repent, we too will perish.
The Word of God challenges the preaching that God wants to heal every disease. We believe that God can! He is the God of miracles and wonders, the One who raises the dead! But the phrase ‘wants to’, almost sounds like we say that God must, and that reveals much more about our own human will than it reveals about the power of God!
The cause or nature of someone’s suffering should never stop us from extending God’s love and mercy to them. We have a responsibility to be God’s hands and feet on earth, extending practical help, prayer, compassion and hope.
The responsibility that we have, does not deem us to give answers, it may even be a presumptuous sin! (Job 42) Whether we suffer as a cause of our own sin, a permitted trial from God, collateral suffering because of someone else’s sins, demonic influence, godly discipline, trauma or mystery; we must never waver in the conviction that nothing in all of creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)
Maybe the best position we can take when someone is suffering is on our knees in prayer, a mouth silent of reasoning, with open ears and serving hands. In this way, we point towards our heavenly hope and eternal glory.
Let’s keep our hearts soft and open to the work of the Spirit to mend our biases; because you can’t fake compassion - the perspective in your heart will ultimately form the words in your mouth (Proverbs 16:23).
When we are free from unbiblical bias towards suffering, we will be able to embody Christ in this hurting world.
Stay tuned for the next post: Lessons I’ve learnt through my journey: "#2 Never assume emotions, or anything else."
If you are wondering what my journey is all about, check these posts out.
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
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